Just a catnap
by Lucky-Nyako
Summary: As the new year begins Souji takes to sleeping more and more. Yosuke thought it started with Souji's cold in January. Or maybe there was more to it than that. Major character death, alternate ending, non-established relationship


**01/14/12**

"Haha, what time did you go to bed last night, partner? Or is this not exciting enough for ya?" Yosuke asked, watching Souji give a great big yawn for the third time that afternoon.

Souji scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, wiping away the tears that had come forth with the yawn.

"Not that late. Just reviewed a little now that third term is kicking off," he sighed, looking at Yosuke with bleary eyes. "You're not boring or anything."

It was the first Saturday of their last term. Yosuke had invited Souji over after school now that their weekends weren't spent training in the tv world. The two had been pouring over their homework when Yosuke began counting Souji's yawns.

"Well, I guess you were pretty sick just a while ago. And homework is nobody's idea of fun," Yosuke laughed. "Do you need something to keep you awake? Or did you want to call it a day?"

Souji seemed to consider this offer. While it was clear to Yosuke that his best friend's eyelids seemed to be getting rather hard to hold up, Souji seemed to want to continue. He felt a twinge of guilt for asking Souji to help him with his schoolwork now.

"No, no. I want to help out. I'll just go to bed early tonight."

"I dunno man. How about this? Help me finish this page and then I'll walk you home or something. There isn't much left, and I'm sure I can manage the rest myself. Besides, you don't want to get sick again."

Souji didn't put up a fight. He nodded and guided Yosuke through the rest of the page.

 **01/30/12**

Something must have been wrong with Souji's sleeping schedule lately. Since that Saturday that Yosuke had sent him home early, Yosuke had begun counting how many times his partner would yawn throughout the day. There were even a few times he could see the grey head of hair bobbing slightly as Souji began to drift off during class. Sleeping in class had always been Yosuke's thing, but Souji would always be seen studiously taking notes. A few times a week Yosuke would have to tap Souji's back or kick the leg of his chair to wake him up.

It was Monday morning and Mrs. Nakayama was droning on about her personal life again. Yosuke found it a struggle to keep his eyes open as gravity dragged him down. He felt the telltale signs of his brain growing sluggish and his thoughts blurring. Mondays he usually welcomed the feeling of sleeping in class. Naps never felt more refreshing than when he took them in class.

"Hanamura-kun! You seem to like music."

Yosuke felt his heart jolt sharply and his brain jerk back into focus. Dammit, he was being called on again.

He looked up at the teacher; ready to bullshit an answer for his wide-eyed teacher when she directed her unsettling gaze to Souji.

"No, Seta-kun, in front of him."

Yosuke felt more than saw Souji startle awake. His head jerked up from where it had been resting in his folded arms on the desk. Souji scrambled to get up out of his seat, standing at attention to answer. Yosuke saw him sway a little as he stood.

"What's the next unit of measurement up from a terabyte?"

Oh! Yosuke knew this. The one time he could have answered and she switched targets!

Ahead of him, Souji seemed to hesitate. Perhaps he wasn't quite awake yet. Or maybe he didn't know the answer.

"Ahh… it's…" he stumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

This was Yosuke's chance! Souji was always helping all of them out by whispering answers to them.

"Psst! It's a petabyte," he hissed quietly, watching Souji stand straighter and throw out his answer.

From the corner of his eye he saw Chie shoot him a look of surprise. Maybe because he knew an answer and Souji did not, or maybe it was because Souji had fumbled for the first time.

Mrs. Nakayama seemed satisfied. Or not, as she continued to complain about her financial problems. Souji took his seat and the lecture continued.

"Hey, thanks," Souji sighed, turning to give Yosuke a weary, grateful look. "Sorry about that."

Yosuke smiled back before shifting to concern. Souji hadn't actually fallen asleep in class before. It had just been some nodding off and then he'd always fight himself from falling asleep.

"Are you okay? You've been really tired this week," Yosuke murmured after class was over. Souji hung back as the rest of the class packed up and left.

"I am," his partner sighed, body sagging a little as he admitted it. Yosuke wasn't sure if he meant to say he was okay or if he was tired.

"You gotta study less and sleep more," Yosuke advised, observing the dark circles under his friend's eyes. "You're not still juggling like, three jobs at once are you?"

Souji gave a loose shrug and didn't answer. So that was it – their leader was no stranger to overworking himself.

"Hey now, don't forget to take a break once in a while," Yosuke said, giving Souji a lighthearted grin and a playful wink. "We may not be going into the tv anymore, but you should still save your strength."

Souji managed to return Yosuke's smile, his eyes drooping slightly in exhaustion.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Yosuke."

Souji stood up and collected his things.

"Ah! Hey, do you wanna hang out today? You look like you need a chill day."

Yosuke was met with another long yawn before his partner could answer.

"Ah, sorry. I can't. I should be getting to work," Souji mumbled sheepishly, hand going up to touch the back of his neck. "Maybe I can plan one for later."

"No, see, the point of a chill day is to not work. But I'll catch you later, then."

Yosuke didn't know which job Souji was off to now, but as he watched his best friend stumble out the door he hoped it wasn't too stressful.

 **02/03/12**

They didn't get around to making a chill day together. Souji missed a lot of his texts over the weekend and he wasn't picking up his calls. At some point Yosuke stopped trying so often so his calls and messages wouldn't spam Souji's phone. He'd have to admit he was feeling a little lonely these days with no one but Teddie was (always) free.

Today Yosuke was determined to convince Souji to drop all of his other tasks and spend some much-needed down time with him. He'd even arrived to school early so he could catch his partner before he made any other plans.

As it turned out, he hadn't needed to arrive early because Souji was still missing by the time the second to last bell chimed. He could swear the other was usually in his seat and ready for class before that.

By the time last bell chimed and the teacher had strolled into the classroom for the morning, Yosuke was scratching his head and wondering where Souji could be. He rarely took sick days, even when he was left mottled with cuts and bruises from the tv world.

Souji entered ten minutes after class had started, panting and wheezing, uniform jacket askew on his shoulders, bowlcut hair damp with sweat. Yosuke could only guess he had sprinted all the way over.

When Souji found his seat after the teacher finished chastising him, Yosuke gave him a pat on the back. He only slightly regretted it when he felt the heat and slight dampness on Souji's back.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Haah, I overslept… I didn't hear my alarm," Souji grimaced, his breathing steadying out.

"Why? Were you up studying all night again? We do have exams coming up…"

"I know. I'll have to set more alarms for exam week, just to be safe."

 **02/10/12**

Souji had no problem making it to class on time for the rest of the week. He even arrived earlier than usual during exam week.

Except on the last day of exams when Souji failed to show up at all.

Yosuke had a shift at Junes that evening, but he couldn't stop himself after school from running as fast as he could to Dojima's place. His mind raced at the possibilities of what had happened to his best friend. Had he gotten sick again? Was he hurt?

Maybe he'd been tired and clumsy out in the snow and slipped on the way to school. Yosuke could see it happening.

Yosuke couldn't run as fast as his thoughts raced through his mind. There was still plenty of snow and ice on the ground so he chose his steps carefully. He only slipped once on the floodplains. When he arrived at Dojima's house he pounded on the door, hoping someone was home to answer his questions.

Five minutes of banging his frozen fists on the door led to nothing. No one answered. Yosuke's mind leapt to the worst scenarios possible. Maybe they were all at the hospital, surrounding Souji in bed. Maybe he'd split his head open, or a car had slid on ice and hit him. He increased the tempo of his pounding on the door.

He didn't hear the click of the lock on the other side over his own racket. Only when he heard a thud that was not his own did he stop. Suddenly Yosuke could just see Dojima's stern, less than impressed face; he could already hear the lecture for attempting to damage his property and he'd cart Yosuke's ass off to the station.

The door slid back slowly, and Yosuke was surprised to meet sleepy grey eyes.

"Souji! What the hell are you doing here? You missed the last day of exams!" Yosuke shouted, clamoring into the house and pushing Souji back in. He got a good look at his partner, making sure there was nothing wrong with him besides the usual fatigue.

"And what are you still doing in your pajamas?"

"I uh, just woke up…"

 **02/15/12**

Wednesday morning found Yosuke walking up to the school gates to see Souji, Yukiko, and Chie engaged in a conversation. From where he stood Yosuke could see their leader quietly listening, a drowsy expression on his face.

"Hey, everybody. What's going on?" Yosuke asked, noting the somber expressions all around.

"Oh, nothing," Yukiko replied, "just thinking about how spring's almost here." Her face fell, her hands going to fiddle with her school bag in her hands. "And then… Souji-kun will be…"

Her words hung heavily in the air as the four considered how much time their beloved leader had left in Inaba. Yosuke had almost forgotten their deadline with how busy he'd been with work and school.

"I, uh, try not to think about that…" he sighed, eyes downcast. "Oh, but hey! We still have some time left. Make the most of it, am I right?" he laughed nervously, forcing his lips to curve into a grin.

The morning bell chimed, startling the four of them out of their reverie. Chie and Yukiko took off, while Yosuke hung back with Souji, who moved slower as they days went on.

"Hey, man, when you uh, go back to the city, check out a doctor, will ya?" Yosuke requested as they walked side by side into the building. "I think that cold did more damage than we thought."

Grey eyes looked at him thoughtfully. Yosuke wished he could wipe away the ever-present bags under Souji's eyes.

At first Souji was silent. Maybe he was too tired this morning to respond? But when they entered the school he gave Yosuke a small smile and agreed he'd do just that.

 **03/14/12**

They were gathered around his desk as Souji passed out candies he and Nanako made the night before.

Though everyone asked Souji if he was doing better these days, Yosuke thought he might be the only one seeing his partner forcing himself to be more energetic than he had been the past three months.

But if Souji was smiling and laughing, then maybe he really was on the road to recovery.

 **03/17/12**

The Investigation Team was gathered atop of the hill overlooking Inaba. Yosuke brought his small camera and a cheap tripod he picked up at Junes on the way over.

"Teddie, please stop pushing," Naoto complained from the left end of the group. "I'm bumping into Chie-senpai."

"Sorry! Sorry! I just wanna get nice and close for the memories!"

"She said quit pushing, dammit!" Kanji snapped, always ready to defend the young detective.

"Ow! Kanji, now you're pushing me!" Rise whined, glaring up at her classmate.

"Thank you, Kanji, but there's no need to yell."

"S-sorry!"

"Okay, guys! Almost ready!" Yosuke called from behind the camera. "Maybe get a little closer together?"

Behind them all Souji stood quietly. He didn't look as tired today, and Yosuke wondered if it was because he was relieved to go back home. Despite the childish bickering, Souji looked at his group of friends with pride.

Yosuke met his gaze through the camera lens, making him wonder if Souji knew he'd been staring.

"O-okay! Good to go! Watch out, coming through!"

Yosuke stood by Souji's right side, ready to grin his heart out and make the most of their last few days. It was as he was waiting for the flash of the camera that he felt Souji's hand brush the back of his.

Reflexively, he would have jerked his hand back and apologized for bumping him, but just for today, he grabbed Souji's hand and squeezed. He grinned with the energy Souji returned when he squeezed back.

 **03/20/12**

"Yo! Partner!" Yosuke called as he watched Souji weave his way through the tables and chairs. "Going around saying goodbye, huh?"

Souji nodded, taking a seat with him and Teddie. "Actually, I've already finished most of them. But I wanted to save you for last."

"Aww, Sensei wants to save the best for last!" Teddie gushed, flailing excitedly. "Well I want you to know that you're my favorite, too!"

Souji laughed quietly, letting Teddie awkwardly hug him from where he sat.

The three sat and chatted, reminiscing the past year and the way Souji had changed everything for them.

"Oh, is it really okay for you to just chill out here? You sure there's no one else you're missing?" Yosuke asked when he realized they'd let time slip through their fingers.

"Do you want Teddie to come with you?" the Junes mascot inquired hopefully, voice rising with his excitement.

"No way. You have work. Which you totally have to get back to," Yosuke scolded. "You're well over your fifteen minute break. I only gave you that extra time because I knew Souji would be dropping by soon."

"Aww, you just want Sensei all to yourself!" Teddie whined, looking pitifully jealous.

"That's not it…"

"Actually, Yosuke," Souji spoke up, "would you mind coming with me for a bit? There's… something I need to do."

Yosuke cocked his head to the side. What was left for Souji to do in town that he needed help with?

"Sure. Teddie, you need to get back to work. Seriously. Lead the way, partner."

Much to his surprise, Souji took him to the last place he thought he'd see.

"Haha, what's this? Wanted to check out the other world as a nostalgia thing?" Yosuke asked as they stood facing the television that started it all.

"Not quite," Souji replied, already reaching inside the screen.

Even though it had been a while since they had last visited, Yosuke still managed the landing just fine, falling into a crouch. Souji wasn't next to him when he straightened himself up.

Souji was leaned up against the railing of the small set of steps to the right of their exit. His arms supported his weight as he looked out into the distance.

Yosuke approached him, placing a hand on Souji's shoulder.

"You okay?"

A beat of silence passed, as though Souji needed a moment to find the correct answer.

"Never better, I think."

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Souji gave a yawn that rivaled all of his other yawns over the past three months. When he opened his eyes Yosuke saw his eyelids flutter lethargically, as though he were nodding off standing.

"Uh, hey, you wanna sit? You still look pretty tired."

It was a bit of a tight fit, but the two squeezed on to the top step, feet planted on the last.

"It's so quiet," Souji murmured, breaking the comfortable silence between them, pressing his knuckles to his forehead and rubbing gently.

"Yeah, I guess when we got rid of Adachi the shadows all settled down." There were no more frightening noises of the shadows as they bellowed and screeched in the distance.

"No, I mean… all of my personas stopped… talking," Souji informed, brow furrowing slightly. "All week, they've been… sort of whispering in the back of my mind to come here. It was loud today, until now."

Yosuke sat and watched Souji rub his forehead a little more, unsure of what to say. Sometimes Jiraiya whispered things to him too, but it wasn't often, and it was more like his persona's feelings passing through his mind. He couldn't imagine having a dozen more locked up inside.

"Uh, what were they saying?"

"Hm. Just a lot of restless feelings." Souji didn't elaborate.

"Oh! So is that the reason you weren't sleeping well? That must have sucked. Being kept awake all the time."

"That's…" Souji yawned again, his breath whooshing out as he exhaled, "not it." He paused, a contemplative expression settling across his weary face. "I really have been sleeping. It started off as a few extra hours, and I'd go to bed early, only to wake up just as tired. And then it ended up as half the day sometimes, and I'd only get up and move around so Nanako and Dojima didn't worry too much. And even then, I'd still end up going to bed early. I couldn't miss more school like I did."

"Maybe you're, uh, what's it called? Naroc…narcoleptic?" Yosuke had thought he'd been that when he kept falling asleep in class all the time, but it turned out it was just because class sucked and he was a lazy student.

Souji shook his head slowly, looking at his hands instead of Yosuke.

"I thought so, too. But I don't think that's it, either. After we beat Adachi, I think they were more restless than ever. Izanagi told me to come here today."

"How do you feel now?"

"So tired," Souji sighed out, head dropping a little. "C-can I rest my head on your shoulder?"

Yosuke felt his face heat up a little. He wanted to say no, or maybe it was yes, but there was no one here to see them. He supposed it would be fine just this once. After all, his best friend was leaving tomorrow. He wouldn't get another chance to be close with his partner like this.

"S-sure. That's fine." He didn't jump or lean away when a grey head of hair leaned heavily on his right shoulder.

"Thanks," Souji breathed out, eyes sliding shut.

"Uh, yeah. No problem, man," Yosuke mumbled, feeling his face flush and his heart beat faster. Would Souji hear it if it got too loud?

"S-so ah, how are you gonna handle being so far away from the tv world in the city? All that talking might drive you insane or something."

There was no answer, just the sound of Souji's breathing slowing down, falling into a gentle rhythm.

"Um, hey! Did you fall asleep on me?" Yosuke asked, trying to get a peek at Souji's face. "You should have just gone home if you were so tired!"

"Hm. I'm… not going home." He strained his ears to hear Souji.

"But your train's tomorrow," Yosuke insisted, shaking Souji a little. "You'll have to leave some time."

"Ha. You sound like… you want me to leave." Souji yawned wider, the weight of his body settling against Yosuke's.

"No way, partner! I… actually can't– don't– want to imagine the town without you, again. You've changed so much. You really helped us all out."

He felt Souji shift at his side a bit.

"You guys did that all yourself. I just… oversaw it." There was a longer pause as Souji slowly breathed in and out a few times. "I'm so proud of you guys."

"Heh, thanks, Souji. I'm really glad I met you. W-we all are."

They spent a few minutes in silence before Yosuke considered how much time had passed. Relaxing in the tv world wasn't actually good for anyone considering how fatigued it made them.

"Hey, we should go back, Souji. You should get home and get some rest."

When there was no response, Yosuke rolled his eyes and shook Souji a little harder. He felt bad trying to wake him up, but they needed to leave.

"Hey, Souji. Come on! You can't actually sleep here."

Souji's limp form fell back when Yosuke moved out from under him. When Souji didn't wake up Yosuke stared hard at Souji's still form. He felt his heart skip a beat when Souji's breathing was hard to detect.

He pressed his ear to Souji's chest, listening for a heartbeat. It was faint, but still there.

"C'mon man, this isn't cool!"

No time to think. He moved Souji's long limbs around so he'd be able to carry his body out of the tv. With one arm under his leader's neck and the other under his legs, he struggled to scoop Souji up and dashed for the exit.

He dived head first into the sets of televisions, not caring if customers saw him fall out of the tv with the body of his dearest friend.

He spilled out onto the floor of Junes, concentrating on the shallow breaths Souji took.

"S-someone, help me!"

 **03/21/12**

"What do you mean he just 'fell asleep and didn't wake up?'"

The seven of them were gathered outside of Souji's hospital room.

"I-I can't believe senpai just…"

They could hear Nanako wailing loudly from within the room. Dojima cursing was just barely audible.

"He was supposed to go home today…"

Yosuke couldn't help but wonder if Souji could have been saved if he'd acted sooner. But their leader had never woken up after they left the tv. He'd slept through the whole night until...

"Yosuke-senpai, you were the last to see him! Couldn't you have done anything?"

A sob was wrenched from his throat. Yosuke couldn't stop his hands from tearing through his hair. Tucking his chin against his chest, he tried to imagine a different outcome.

"What will his parents think?

At least they'd gotten their goodbyes before Souji's parents took him away from Inaba - from them.


End file.
